Halloween Group Forum Thread

What would Halloween (or any other celebration or party at that) be without a good supply of clever and witty jokes? So without further ado, here they are:

 

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite...

 

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite...

 

Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

 

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately...

 

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don't have any body to go out with...

 

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? Booberries...

 

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein...

 

What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?"

 

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A cereal killer...

 

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're so wrapped up in themselves...

 

What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends...

 

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel...

 

What type of dog do vampires like the best? Bloodhounds...

 

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instument? A trombone...

 

What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets...

 

Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath...

 

What's a vampire's favorite junk food? A guy with very high blood pressure...

 

What does a healthy vampire eat? A guy with good cholesterol...

 

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation...

 

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? Wrap...

 

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

 

What's a monster's favorite bean? A human bean...

 

Why can't a skeleton lift weights? He's all bone and no muscle...

 

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A necktarine...

 

What do skeletons say before eating? Bone-appetite!

 

What do ghosts call their girlfriends? Ghoulfriends...

 

How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? So long sucker!

 

What is a ghost's favorite band? The Boos Brothers...

 

What is Dracula's favorite restaraunt? Murder King...

 

Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? Because people are just dying to get in...

 

What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A pumpkin patch...

 

And now one for the adults only... Drum roll please.

 

Why can't witches have babies? Because their husbands have Hallow-weenies!

 

Ha, ha, ha!!! :)