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Went to Chicago this weekend for an old high school friend's bachelor party. I had checked in online, so after I arrive at the airport, I make my way straight to the security checkpoint. I arrive at the x-ray machine and pull off my sandals, put my backpack and carry-on suitcase on the conveyor belt, empty my pockets--wait, what's this in my pocket? Oh no, I forgot to take my tiny Swiss Army knife off my keychain!
Dammit, I thought...well, it's only 2 inches long, maybe they might miss it amongst my carry-on luggage. Well you'll be glad to know you're safe and secure in the air from keychain pocket knives, because they spotted it easily.
The security officer told me that I had 3 options: 1) chuck it; 2) put it in my carry-on and check it in; or 3) mail it back to myself for $9. Well, I do like my little knife, I thought to myself, it sure comes in handy sometimes, especially since I recently discovered that oddly shaped implement was in fact a bottle opener. And while I was hoping to avoid checking in my luggage, $9 is such a ripoff to mail it back to myself.
So I decided to check it in. I exit the security line and make my way to the United counter. Neat, they have self-check-in consoles. I beep and boop my way through the menus, and select "1" when it asks how many pieces of luggage I have to check in. "Insert credit card", the console helpfully prompts me. Huh? What for? I shrug and insert my credit card.
"Thank you", the console cheerfully responds. "You have been charged $15 for 1 piece of checked luggage." Uh, W. T. F. $15 for ONE piece of checked luggage? I guess I haven't been keeping up with airline news, but that is one very unfunny joke. I'm fuming about it, thinking what a ripoff it is, when a United worker arrives, checks my ID, and takes my bag and puts it on the conveyor belt.
Oh well, I sigh and walk back to the security line. I make my way to the x-ray machines, where for the second time, I pull off my sandals, put my backpack on the conveyor belt, empty my pockets--wait. What is this in my pocket? Nooooooooooo! It's my @#$% Swiss Army knife!! I was so steamed by the $15 charge that I FORGOT TO PUT THE DAMN THING IN MY SUITCASE!!
To make a long story short, I end up mailing it back to myself for another $9. If you're counting, that's $24 I've now spent on this keychain. Yes, a new one would have cost me about the same amount, but after all that, I wasn't about to give in to the ridiculous security restrictions and chuck the thing. It was a matter of principle now.
Moral of the story #1: don't try to carry on a 2 inch knife that isn't capable of piercing skin.
Moral of the story #2: don't fly United (not all airlines charge for the first piece of checked luggage).
Back Talk
And no, Aileen, today has actually been pretty miserable, thanks in no small part to last night. :)
I'll buy some World Peace for you if they sell it at the grocery store.
blatchy birthday!!!!
hope you didn't puke too much....
I've actually lost friends b/c they've smacktalked said show....lol j/k....or am I....;)
Vitals
| Sex: | Male | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Relationship Status: | Single, never married | ||
| Looking for: | Friendship, Networking | ||
| Birthday: | April 27, 1977 | ||
| Ethnicity: | Asian | ||
| Hometown: | Toronto, Canada | ||
| Political Views: | Liberal | ||
| Website: | http://www.zoji.com
Duh. | ||
| Interests: | I'm a big baseball (Mariners) fan and play in a league during the summer, snowboard on occasion in the winter, play a lot of (too much?) poker, am a classical music nut year-round, minored in music history and theory in college, play the violin in the PSSO, have a strange habit of composing music in the Classical style, and I am a connoisseur of Canadian potato chips; also fond of sleep, cows, things, and stuff (and did I mention things?) | ||
| Favorite Music: | Beethoven, Schubert, Mozart, Mendelssohn, Dvorak, Tchaikovsky, Haydn...There's a pattern here, and I haven't quite figured it out. | ||
| Favorite TV Shows: | Scrubs, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Las Vegas, Futurama, Friends | ||
| Favorite Movies: | Braveheart, the Matrix, American Beauty, Amadeus, Office Space, LOTR, Star Wars, Van Wilder, Aliens | ||
| Favorite Books: | Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Moneyball, 1984, assorted trash | ||
| Favorite Food: | Love to try all kinds of food, but my favorites are seafood, sushi, Italian, Chinese, and I've been recently introduced to the wonders of pho. | ||
| Work Description: | Zoji slave | ||
| College: |
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| High School: |
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LOL good gawd you RETARD! That sucked!
I love it, when it comes to poker, Kev's always telling me you shouldn't care if people make bad calls, cuz they're getting terrible odds, and over time you'll get paid off... BUT when it comes to annoying airport security, being able to let your raw emotions fly takes precedence over dollars :P
OK there's something about airports that make me retarded too, you've inspired me to 'fess up and blog...
USAir is the same way now too (see Dan Kao's post with the chart of all the fees for all the airlines now). USAir even charges for WATER on the frickin plane now too! It's Southwest all the way from now on if possible...
ha ha, what a great story! there this is mix of laughing at you and feeling sorry for you swirling around inside of me. :)
all this recent air travel has also made me pretty wary of the checked luggage price. unfortunately, there are occasions when this short little girl can not heft the heavy piece of luggage above her head and into that overhead bin.
It would have been cheaper to have mailed it to yourself! Hell, next time call one of us, and we'll get it for you!
I move that we bcome a nudist society, this way we don't need any luggage. It is a joke for them to charge for a checked bag.There are some carriers thinking about charging for carry on. Also, the carry on space is just going to get more full because people will bring even larger bags as carry on if they are going to be charged for them.
I already said that once when I wrote my own version of A Modest Proposal. It would make things go so much more efficiently.
The glories of air travel. TSA even has a blog now -- very amusing: http://www.tsa.dhs.gov/blog
A personal favorite: http://www.tsa.gov/blog/2008/02/more-on-liquid-rules-why-we-do-things.html
Don't lose that keychain!
When I brought my mom's cremated remains back with me on NWA a few years ago they actually let me hold her on my lap during the first leg of the flight, then on the second leg of the flight they gave her a seat of her very own right next to me and I even secured her in with the seatbelt (never can be too safe!). I'd warned the TSA the week before when I'd dropped my gal off at the airport that there's going to be arms-a-swinging and teeth-a-flying and noses-a-bleeding, and a definite felony on my otherwise spotless record, if they give me any problems whatsoever the next week I show up with mom for the flight back home. She's not getting checked or mailed anywhere buster! Of course, airport security and the TSA remembered me from the week before when I showed up for that unforgetable flight home and they backed off completely. The look on people's faces, and the curious questions as to what that was that I was holding and strapping into the seat beside me, was priceless! My mom would have absolutely loved it! She sure was one-of-a-kind! And to top it all off, none of it cost me any extra money. Could you imagine a $15 charge for your first checked body? Much less one that gets it's own seat! She was just as unique in death as she was in life... I miss her!
Oh yeah, Kevin...don't go and misplace that knife now.
@#$@#%@#^%#@!!!!!!!!
i've lost like 3 swiss army knives in airports, assholes......
what pisses me off is at the end of the day, there's a huge stash of goodies that people have lost from the crappy xray machine.... and the workers there told me they just THROW IT AWAY. what!!!!! they should at least loot the stash! or give it to charity or something...
P.S. you should rename this blog "my $51 keychain" :p
F*** the RIAA TSA!
T.S.A stands for: Thousands Standing Around!
wow - I literally laughed out loud reading this! priceless